MarySues of All Kinds: Perfection
by Random Stuff About Stuff
Summary: First in the MarySues of All Kinds trilogy. Aang finds a book in a hat. In it is a dreaded MarySue. Join our friends as they battle the plague that has struck our fandom, and many others like it.
1. Book in a Hat

A/N I am writing this story entirely out of disgust of Mary Sues, Gary Stus, excreta. Any resemblance to your story is purely coincidental, on the grounds that I have probably never read it. Also, if your name _is_ Belle, no offense is meant, I am sure that you are not a Mary Sue. Unless your _name_ is Mary Sue, in which case I pity you, but that doesn't mean you are one. I know some very nice people named Mary Sue. Like my history teacher! And if your name is Gary Stu, well, I'm sure Stu is short for Stuart or something of the like.

P.S Sorry about Belle's spelling, she can't help it. Also, the translation of SueBasher2000's comment is 'you are a sht head and I can do nothing for your writing'. It's French.

Disclaimer: Oh, _sure_, I own this. Rolls eyes. Seriously, I don't own Avatar or anything related to it. What I _do_ own is myself, my glasses (yay, I'm wearing my own this time!) an air plant named Gawain, and the Mary Sue. Anyone want a Mary Sue? She's starting to bug me. One dollar, going once, going twice, _sold_ to the bald kid with the tattoos. What? You didn't bid? Drat, I was hoping you wouldn't notice.

"Not _again_, Aang!"

"C'mon, Aang, remember what Haru said?"

"_Mom, they're crazy, just look at how they're dressed!"_

Aang frowned stubbornly. "That doesn't really matter, Katara. Haru's off throwing rocks at Fire Benders and stuff. We're here, and I _like _this hat!"

Sokka sighed. It really _was_ a strange hat, even for Aang. It was roundish, purple and white, with a tiny button-like thing at the top, and some sort of bill sticking out front. But, if it would keep the kid from riding anything _else_ strongly opposed to him and lethal…

"Plus, it's a good disguise!" added Aang happily to Katara. "Can I borrow your gloves?" he asked. Looking confused, Katara pulled a pair of gloves out of her pocket and handed them to him.

Aang jammed the gloves on, explaining as he went. "See, when people can't see the tattoos, they won't know I'm the Avatar," he elucidated. "Put on the hat…" he did so, "Wooo, you don't recognize me, Katara! You can't tell that _I'm the Avatar!_"

"Stop that," Katara said sternly, but she giggled. "If you want a disguise, you'll have to stop screaming your identity to the world." She paused, and sighed. "Alright, buy the hat. Do what…."

Before she could even finish her sentence, much less change her mind, Aang had paid for the hat and was jumping happily into the air.

"Woo-hoo! Ouch!" He landed on the ground, taking the hat off his head. "There's something _in_ here…" Reaching inside, he pulled something out.

"It's just a book," he said, disappointed. "No rabbits to pull out of my hat."

"I swear, Aang, you're getting more like Bumi every day," Sokka muttered.

"Right, well, for now, let's just return the book and go back to camp," Katara said. "I'm tired."

She took the book from Aang and held it out to the shopkeeper. "Sir? We found this book inside your hat…"

The man glanced once at the book and screamed as if a thousand Fire Benders were on his trail.

Across the market, the _two_ Fire Benders who were on _Aang's_ trail looked up and spotted the trio.

"What's wrong?" asked Aang, stepping forwards.

The man was shaking, terrified. He said in a whisper so quiet that the three had to lean forward to hear him, "M-m-Mary-Sue!"

Suddenly, a plot hole the size of Zuko's ship opened up, and everyone in the market heard him!

**Everyone in the Market**: Gasp!

**Fanfiction Site**: No script format. Bad writer! Bad!

**Me**: Aww, man!

And, after the dramatic gasp, the plot hole closed and the script format disappeared, making everyone go about their business. Except for Zuko and Iroh.

"Uncle," asked Zuko "What's a Mary Sue?"

Iroh shrugged. "Well, Prince Zuko, that's the sort of question you'd better ask your father."

Zuko sighed. "Uncle, my father banished me. It's not like I asked where babies come from or something, sheesh!"

"Well, you see, Prince Zuko, when a man and a woman…"

"No! That's not what I was asking about!"

"Oh, right. The Mary-Sues." Iroh considered that for a moment. "I honestly don't know. I heard something somewhere about 'fanfiction' and an 'invasion', but it really wasn't in my area of expertise."

Zuko took that to mean that it had nothing to do with tea, therefore his uncle was bored with the subject.

"I think the Avatar is preparing to do battle with one of them," he commented, watching Aang accept the book from the shopkeeper and walk away with his friends.

"Perhaps we should watch them, Prince Zuko," suggested Iroh. "I'm sure it would be educational."

"And when he's finished, I could capture him!" the prince added excitedly.

The trio walked to Appa and their camp, with Zuko and Iroh close behind them.

"Okay," said Aang. "Let's see what scared him so much. I'll read first…"

"I'll go second," suggested Sokka. "And Katara can be last."

A short argument that has nothing to do with the plot followed, before things were finally sorted out with Aang first, followed by Katara, and Sokka last.

Aang opened the book. "Hmm… Alright. Here goes…"

"Heart Bender

By beutyinthemonlite19

Summary: A beautiful, tragic girl with no memory of her past life appears in the Avatar world, only to discover that she alone can save them. But will her heart let her? ZOC, nonslash."

"Now what could that mean?" Katara asked. Everyone shrugged, and Aang began reading the story.

_A/N Like, hi! Okay, so I'd like reveiws but if you have someting meen to say dont say anyting at all so I don't acept flames Anywy, this storry is so nott a Mary Sue! My sissters also on fannfition, and she says it is but seriously its not Uknow Y? Mary Sues are self-inserts but my character has blonde hair (I so wish I did sigh) while Ive got this ugly red stuff Gross! Anywa this story is about Belle a beutiful, trajic gurl who has no memmorry exceppt about someting terible but with her per… LOL cant spel it! her amaazing sprit she survivs and wins the hart of everon. When she has to chose her luv her choce is so unexpcted. It's like a total plot twist, becase I always right plot twists. OMG! This note is geting relly long! I'd beter get in2 the sttory now!_

_Oh, BTW, my sister, SueBasher2000, has done this thingy on my story called 'proofreading'. It means that she checked my story for spelling things and stuff. I don't really get what's the big deal, I mean, spelling and grammer are school stuff, right? But she said that if she didn't, nobody would like to read it. Then she asked me to tell all my lovely readers something, and ask if you understand. She said 'tu est un tete de merde et je ne peut pas faire quelque chose por ton ecriture.' _

"I wonder what _that_ means?" commented Aang.

"Uncle?" whispered Zuko. "What _does_ it mean?"

"It's in an ancient language," explained Iroh. "I believe it is an insult, coupled with a swear word."

Zuko grinned. "Normally, I'd just shrug, but this 'beutyinthemonlite19' is getting on my nerves, so I'm definitely starting to like 'SueBasher2000'.

Aang and Katara finished their discussion none the wise, and went back to reading.

_Belle sat up and blinked her beautiful blue eyes. "Huh?" she said._

_Standing over her were two boys and a girl. Belle could tell that one of the boys, the one with hair, was the girl's older brother, and the other was her friend._

"_Hello," Aang said. Belle smiled._

"_Hello, Aang," she said._

"Kinda makes you wonder how she knows our names," Sokka muttered. Katara shushed him.

"_I'm Aang," the boy said._

"Introductions came a little late," grumbled Sokka. Again, he was shushed.

"_This is my friend Sokka," he said, pointing at Sokka. "And this is my other friend, Katara," he said, pointing at Katara._

"Now there's something about that phrase that just doesn't sound like Aang," Sokka mused. He was shushed for the third time that day.

"_I don't know my name," the girl said. _

"But I thought her name was Belle! That's what she said earlier," pointed out Sokka. Guess what happened? He got shushed!

"_We'll call you Belle," Sokka said. "Because you are so beautiful." _

"Excuse me? _Excuse me!_ I've just met this girl, what's wrong with me?" demanded (you guessed it) Sokka. The shushing that ensued was very much like the other four times.

_Belle laughed, and her laugh sounded like her name._

"Her… oh, a bell. Sheesh, that's a little clichéd, isn't it?" I'm not even going to bother telling you who said that or what happened to him.

"_Why don't you know your name, Belle?" Katara said. "You seem like a lovely, intelligent girl."_

"Erm, what does being lovely have to do with knowing her name?"

"_I have no memory of my past. It was very tragic, but my love for all living things has survived my mysterious tragedy," Belle said._

"Now, if she doesn't remember anything, how does she know it was tragic?"

This time, Katara didn't shush him. Instead, she told him. "I'm sure that's just part of the power of the Mary-Sue. Whatever a Mary-Sue might be."

"_That's so tragic!" Aang said. "We'll take you with us," he said._

"_Would you?" Belle said._

"_Of course," Katara said._

"_You can finally have a home," Sokka said._

"How do we know she doesn't have a home? And why are we so eager to have her along?" asked Sokka.

"She's a Sue," explained Katara.

Aang momentarily put his book down, holding the place with one finger. "Katara," he asked "Do you know something we don't about Mary-Sues?"

Katara sighed. "Sort of. Gran-Gran told me. It's a family tradition for the women of our family to battle Mary-Sues wherever we shall meet them."

"I didn't know that," Sokka commented.

"You also aren't a woman in our family," retorted his sister.

"So what _are_ Mary-Sues?" Aang interrupted, both out of curiosity and a need to stop the impending argument.

"In a world far away, we are just a story," Katara began. "People who like that story write other stories about it, called 'Fanfiction'."

"I _knew_ it!" exclaimed Zuko. Everyone turned to look at him. "Erm… chirp chirp," he improvised.

Katara sighed, opening a plot hole that wasn't quite as big as the last. "Zuko," she said, "If you're not going to hurl fireballs at us, come out. We could use the help."

The two Fire Benders came out, and sat down.

"How do we fight the Sues?" asked Iroh.

"First, let me finish explaining them," Katara told him.

"There is good fanfiction. Fanfiction with original plot lines, witty authors, in character… characters. And then there is bad fanfiction. Self-inserts, where the author drags themselves into the story. But that is only a minor problem compared to… the Mary-Sues!

"Mary-Sues are always original characters, but not all original characters are Mary-Sues. These terrible vermin infest good fanfiction with their phony perfection. They come up where they are least expected, disguising their stories as creativity, and frightening and disturbing innocent readers.

"They are _always_ perfect. Beautiful, strong, intelligent, they can figure things out that no human should ever recognize. They always charm the character that the author likes best, and nothing they ever do is wrong. They have no faults. They are the Sues, the plague of the universe."

"Slightly overdramatic, but whatever," Sokka said.

"Shut up. Anyway, we fight them in a very simple way. First, we have to read the entire story, all the way through. I assume you two heard the whole thing?" she asked the Fire Benders.

Zuko nodded, while Iroh pulled a tea bag out of a plot hole and began making tea.

"Good. We have to point out all or most of the stupid things that happens. Plot holes, they're called. Sokka's already finding that, noticing out of characterness, filling the plot holes. We'll all need to help him with that.

"Then, armed with constructive criticism, we hunt down the author, erm…" she paused and looked at the book. "beutyinthemonlite19, and concrit her. Either she accepts our suggestions, which isn't likely, or her Sueness is melted by common sense.

"We have to be careful, though. Beutyinthemonlite19 seems to be a full-grown Sue, with all the perfection, terrible writing style, stupid jokes, out of character canons, and no grasp of the plot.

"But we may have help. This sister, this… SueBasher2000. If she lives up to her name, then perhaps she may be someone who will help us. Someone from a race known as 'The Concrit Reviewers'. These are heroes who fight the Sues.

"And if SueBasher2000 helps us, then our task will be considerably easier."

As Katara finished, Iroh handed out the plot-hole tea.

"Alright," Sokka said. "Let's concrit this Sue!"

Aang opened the book and began to read.

"Alright, so, we've just invited Belle to live with us."

"_That would be wonderful," Belle said. "For I have never had a home that I can remember because I have no memory," she said._

"_Very_ redundant," muttered Sokka.

"And does she know that there are words used to describe conversation besides 'said'?" put in Aang, before continuing.

"_That is so tragic," Aang said._

"He's sounding a little repetitive," commented Iroh.

"_But I'm sure that I will love living with you," Belle said. "Because my ever-cheerful spirit will prevail, and I will love everything, as I always do," she said._

"That is stupid beyond comment," grumbled Zuko.

"You have to find something specifically wrong with it, and tell how to fix it," admonished Katara. "Otherwise, it's a flame. And _that's_ no help whatsoever!"

beutyinthemonlite19's author's note: _Like, wasn't that cool! Review, please. I would be so totally happy if you did. I'd, like, love you forever. And everybody thank my sister for proofreading! This is so sweet. More romance with Belle later on._

My author's note: What she said. Except without the blatant begging for reviews and self-praise. And without the thing with the sister. I don't have a sister, I proofread this all by myself! So, with that lapse into toddlerdom, hope you liked it!


	2. Competition

_Katara was practicing her Water Bending. Belle came up behind her._

"Sentence length," Iroh told Sokka, who was making a list of their concrit with paper Iroh had pulled out of a plot hole. "Too choppy."

"_Oh!" said Katara._

"Katara doesn't say 'oh' in that girly tone. Usually."

"_I'm sorry," said Belle. "I frightened you."_

"No duh," muttered Zuko.

"Flamer," Aang teased. "She states the obvious too often, Sokka," he added.

"_That's alright," said Katara. "Because you are my friend, I am not frightened anymore," she said._

"Once again, the 'said' thing, and Katara sounds really phony. Also, it's pretty obvious that she's not scared anymore, now that she's seen who it is," Aang offered. Now that Katara was reading, he was getting very good at the concrit stuff.

"_I am glad we are friends, Katara," said Belle. "I have never had any friends before," she said._

"Erm… how does she know that?" asked Zuko.

"Very good!" exclaimed Aang. "That technically wasn't a flame, right, Katara?"

"Right. It should probably be surrounded by other junk, not just have that, otherwise the Sue, who is slightly thick-witted, won't know what you're talking about. But good. Not a flame, Zuko."

"I'm a _Fire Bender,_" the Prince pointed out. "I'm _supposed_ to flame things!"

"Not in reviews," Katara retorted. "Continue, Aang."

"But _you're_ reading!"

"Oh." Katara blushed. "Right."

Sokka, meanwhile, was praying that beutyinthemonlite19 would shape up quickly, so that he would be able to keep up with writing the list.

"_I will be your friend, Belle," said Katara._

"They'd already established that they're friends," Aang pointed out. "No need to repeat it, they're just beating a dead horse."

"How do you spell 'established'?" asked Sokka.

"Doesn't matter," Zuko told him.

"Actually, it does," Katara answered, being the most experienced with Fanfiction. "In a review, a few spelling or grammar errors are okay, only natural. But excessive ones get tedious, especially if that's one of the things that you're criticizing. All reviews should definitely be legible, and it's only a courtesy to make them correct. Especially if you're concritting a potentially reluctant writer, who might jump at the chance to criticize you, or brand you as hypocritical."

"But a few are okay, right?" asked Sokka pleadingly.

"So long as it's phonetically correct," Katara informed him.

"E-S-T-A-B-L-I-S-H-E-D," Iroh said suddenly.

"What?"

"Established," he explained, waving a dictionary that he had gotten from a plot hole.

"How do you open plot holes like that?" asked Zuko curiously.

"Because I'm special," Iroh answered modestly.

"Why don't _you _write the list for a while?" suggested Sokka wearily.

As Iroh cheerfully accepted his new task, Katara returned to the story.

"_I am glad, Katara," Belle said._

"She already _said_ that she was glad!" complained Sokka.

"_I am glad that you are glad," said Katara. "Because you are my friend, and you being happy makes me happy," she said._

"That's just plain stupid!" exclaimed Zuko.

"Now, now, Prince Zuko, flames help nothing," his uncle said absentmindedly. "It's the 'said' thing, and the choppy sentences," he mused.

"Also," Sokka pointed out. "You don't need to repeat who's saying it twice."

"Ohh, Aang, I think you might have some competition as a concritter," teased Katara.

"Not likely," the Avatar sniffed.

"Don't worry, Aang," Sokka told him. "Killing Mary-Sues isn't part of the Avatar's job. Don't feel guilty that I'm beating you."

"You're not beating me!"

"Let's keep score," Iroh suggested, whipping out a piece of paper from a plot hole. "From now on, every grammar or writing style suggestion you make will be worth one point, flames will be minus one, (Katara will choose what's a flame) and every plot suggestion will be worth two."

The others nodded their approval at this idea, and Iroh wrote their names down on a piece of paper.

"Alright, since Katara's reading, she can't honestly be expected to keep up with the suggestions," he muttered, "And since I'm keeping score, the same. So, Katara's out of Round 1, and I'm not competing. The rounds will change every time the reader does, and the reader is always out. Since it should rotate equally, we'll add up the wins at the end, and whoever has the most gets… erm… something. A surprise."

"Uhh… how about I just read the whole time," suggested Katara, who hated games like these.

"Okay!" Iroh agreed. "We'll abide by your decision for all of the things we disagree on!"

The others nodded with various degrees of happiness at this proposal.

"So instead of changing every reader," offered Iroh cheerfully, "We can change every chapter!"

"Well…" Katara began doubtfully. "This isn't a game, but as long as you don't let this distract you… I _guess_ it's alright."

"Then _start reading!" _exclaimed Aang, Sokka, Zuko, and Iroh.

"Alright, alright, fine."

"_Belle?" said Katara. "Are you a Water Bender?"_

"That topic comes out of nowhere!" exclaimed Aang.

"Dialogue…." muttered Iroh. "Would that be writing style or plot, Katara?"

"Writing style," Katara told him. "It's gotta be hard to get two points, and the fact that it doesn't flow is the real problem.

Iroh marked the point and the suggestion, and Katara continued reading.

"_No, Katara, although I wish I was," Belle said sadly. "It is a constant source of shame in my tragic life that I have no Bending abilities," she said._

"It's not exactly shameful not to be a Bender," Aang pointed out.

"Also, she can't remember her life, right?" Sokka added. "So how does _she_ know?"

"_I'm_ just surprised that she managed to use an adjective," Zuko drawled. "Excuse me while I go die from shock."

"Flame," Iroh scolded. "Minus one."

"_It is alright, Belle," Katara said. "I am your friend anyway."_

"Belle didn't say a single thing about Katara not being her friend because of that," Zuko complained, giving himself a sudden point. "And could Katara sound a little _less_ realistic?"

"Is that second one a flame?" asked Iroh.

Katara hesitated. She really wasn't quite as experienced with Fanfiction as the others seemed to think. "Not _technically_," she said. "It suggests something, so it's _really_ a normal review, just a rude one. You should try to be a bit more polite, Zuko," she added.

Zuko scowled, Iroh marked down the point, and Katara began reading.

"_I am glad,"_ _Belle said._

"She needs to use contractions once and a while, talk a little less woodenly," Sokka offered.

_Katara smiled and was about to say something, but Belle interrupted her. She wasn't being rude, she was too beautiful to be rude, but in fact, something terrible had happened._

"_What is that noise?" she said._

"Technically, she's _asking,_ not saying," Aang jumped in.

"And again with the said and the wooden tone," Sokka added.

"Already used," Katara informed him. "But put a check mark by it, Iroh," she added, "So that we know that it's a problem more than once."

"Plus, beauty has nothing to do with the ability to be rude," Zuko pointed out.

"Well, you should know," Sokka retorted, "You're certainly no beauty, but you take the prize for rudeness."

Zuko growled and was about to retort, but Iroh jumped in.

"If she only heard a noise, that isn't really something terrible, is it?" he offered.

"You're not playing," Aang pointed out.

"No, but I get to add suggestions if it doesn't seem like any of you are going to get it," Iroh said indignantly.

_Katara looked in the bushes. "It is the Fire Benders!" she said._

"Wouldn't the Fire Benders have attacked them?" asked Katara herself.

"Man," Sokka complained, "Now _everyone's_ playing!"

**Score:**

**Zuko: 2**

**Aang: 2**

**Sokka: 2**

Okay, so, now I've got a big question for all of you. _WHO SHOULD WIN THEIR COMPETITION?_ Should it be Zuko? Aang? Or Sokka? _What should happen?_ A lot of this story will be up to you guys, since I'm not good at making decisions. I've already got to decide whether I want to go to IHS (International High School) next year, so I don't want any more decisions rattling around in my head for a while.

Anyway, sorry I haven't updated this story as often as I usually do, but I've been busy with schoolwork and stuff, so I hope that you help me. Thanks to everyone who reviewed!


	3. OOC

A/N Thanks to all of my loverly reviewers, and I'm sorry I didn't update yesterday, I _would_have, but I had homework, and a cold. I still have homework and a cold. Why do teachers believe that weekends should get extra homework, just because there's an extra day? We have weekends for a _reason_, you know! Sigh. Colds should be destroyed. I will flame my cold! Bwahahahahahahaha! Enjoy the show.

"This is absolutely insane," muttered Sokka. "I can't believe that we're reading this."

"You think I can?" demanded Zuko.

"Shut up," snapped Aang. "Both of you."

Sokka and Zuko stared at him, slightly surprised at this out-of-character demand. Iroh drank some tea, while Momo ate a bug.

Katara closed the book with a sigh, marking her place with a piece of moss.

"We're all a little uptight," she explained. "And acting differently than we normally do. It's the curse of the Sues. This particular curse is called 'Out Of Character," also known as OOC."

"Oh," Sokka said. "I _thought_ it seemed a little odd for Aang to be snapping at us like that."

Aang winced. "Sorry about that," he apologized. "I didn't mean to."

"Not your fault," Sokka waved it away.

"Can we get this over with," demanded Zuko, "or are you two going to spend the rest of the day being polite to each other?"

"That would be a welcome change," muttered Katara.

"Just _keep reading_," snapped Zuko.

"We're all annoyed," Iroh told him. "But you have to remember it's because of the OOC."

"Actually, I think he's very _in character_," grumbled Sokka. That might have opened a great debate, but Zuko didn't hear him, and Katara started reading again.

_Zuko stepped out of the bushes._

"_Hello," he said._

"Hello?" asked Sokka. "'_Hello?' _He steps out of the bushes, scares the… scares them, and he's a _Fire Bender,_ and all he can say is _'hello'?_"

"What does being a Fire Bender have to do with anything?" demanded Zuko.

"Uhh, hello? Fire Benders started a _war_ on the rest of the world. _They are evil_!"

"No we're not!" protested Zuko.

"Stop it!" exclaimed Aang. The pair shut up and looked at him.

"We're all tired, and grumpy, and OOC," he began. "And we all _are_ from Nations that are at war against each other. But right now, the war is not the problem we're facing. We're facing the Sues, who won't stop their evil no matter _what_ happens with the war. _They_ are the ones we have to fight, not each other. We can't worry about Fire Nation or Water Tribe anymore. Not when we have to face beutyinthemoonlight19. Either we fight her together, or we go our separate ways and let her control our world with forces beyond us!"

"Could she really do that?" asked Sokka skeptically.

"Actually," Katara put in. "She could. If a Sue gets powerful enough, with no flames or concrit, all good reviews from other Sues… If she is strong and experienced enough, if she is a full Sue with no tinge of goodness in her… Then she might actually have the power to control the world as we know it. And nobody, _nobody_ could stop her. No force in this world would be able to stand up to her. We would be eternally locked in Sueishness."

"We would not want that," Iroh shuddered.

"No," Katara said solemnly. "We wouldn't."

"Let's get back to the story," Aang suggested, sounding tired.

Katara opened the book and began to read.

"_What do you want," Belle said. She was brave, because Katara was afraid._

"Someone else's fear isn't what makes you brave," Zuko pointed out.

"And the 'said' thing _again!" _agreed Sokka.

"How about we don't count the 'said thing'," suggested Aang. "I think she's going to do it forever."

"_I want the Avatar," Zuko said._

"That's a little obvious," Sokka pointed out.

"And it has very… odd implications," added Iroh.

"Uncle!" exclaimed Zuko. "That's disgusting!"

"What?" asked Aang innocently. 'What did he say?"

"_Nothing_," Zuko told him vehemently. "Absolutely _nothing_."

"Prince Zuko," Iroh said. "It was a joke."

"Oh." Zuko turned red. "I knew that."

"_You won't get him," Belle said._

"You know, that's sweet and all," Aang pointed out, "but I'd like to know why she's suddenly so defensive of someone she just met."

_Katara found her courage, which had been lost._

"_Excuse _me?"

"Katara! Keep reading!"

"_Yeah," Katara said._

"Sorry, but that's just a little… cliché," Zuko said.

"And I can't imagine Katara just saying 'yeah' to something like that. She'd have an entire speech ready, and by the time she was done, Zuko wouldn't know what hit him," laughed Sokka.

"_Excuse _me?" asked Zuko, sounding exactly like Katara had a minute ago.

"_Where is he?" Zuko said._

"_He is not here," Belle said._

"I would think that's a little obvious," Sokka pointed out.

"And also, I'd bet she only said that because she wants to make sure nobody forgets her character is there," Aang added.

"Naturally, anyone reading a Sue story for this long must have a very short attention span," muttered Zuko. "Or else they would notice all the inconsistencies."

"Not necessarily," Katara reminded him. "Some people might be reading it out of sheer boredom, although I can't imagine what kind of boredom would be worse than a Sue. And some might read it just like we do, to conquer the Mary-Sue."

"_Than I will take you two instead," Zuko said._

"I don't think he'd do that," Aang mused. "I mean, he would probably _at least_ ask where I was, wouldn't he?"

"Definitely," Zuko said, agreeing with Aang for once in his life.

"_You will never take us alive," Belle said. She was brave._

"They could have said, 'Belle said bravely', instead of that," Sokka pointed out. "It would have made for sentence fluency and all that, rather than sounding like a four-year-old wrote it."

"I've seen four-year-olds write better stories than this," snorted Zuko.

"Really?" asked Iroh interestedly. "When?"

"_Guards," Zuko said. "Take them," he said._

_The guards grabbed the girls' arms. They had no choice but to follow._

"_Do not worry, Belle," Katara said. She had seen that her friend was sad. "Aang will rescue us."_

"Uhh, what about _Sokka_?" asked Sokka. "Aang's not the only one around to rescue you, Katara!"

"_I_ know that," protested Katara. "I didn't write this story, blame beutyinthemoonlight19!"

"Also," Aang added, "If the guards grabbed their arms, technically, they wouldn't be following them."

"They might be following _me_!" Zuko complained.

"_That is not what I am afraid of," Belle said._

"What?" asked Katara, seeing that Sokka was laughing silently.

"She's thinks that you think that she's afraid of Aang rescuing her!" he guffawed.

"_Than what is it?" Katara said._

"_I am sad," Belle said. "I am sad because I could not fight the Fire Nation."_

"She didn't have to say that she was sad once, much less twice," Aang pointed out. "They _said_ that Katara had already noticed it."

"_It is alright," Katara said. "There was nothing we could do."_

"_Excuse_ me?" asked Katara for the second time that night. "I _think_ I could have taken two Fire Nation guards. Or, at least, I would have _tried_!"

Zuko snorted. "Hmph. Any Fire Bender could take a Water Bender with one hand tied behind his back!"

"Let's get back to reading, shall we," suggested Aang hastily, not wanting another confrontation.

"_You were brave," Katara said. _

"_I know," Belle said. "But I wish I had been a Bender. If I had been a Bender, I could have done something. It is very tragic."_

"I don't even know where to _begin_ with what's wrong with _that_ one!"


	4. Rippped

A/N Well, here's the new chapter. Don't own it, never will, not quite sure I want to, 'cause I'd ruin it or get sick of writing the same thing for so long. Anyway, the end is near! Of the story anyway. Well, the world too, but the story first. I hope. There's a three-day weekend coming up, so I hope to update then, but last weekend I had a cold, and my friends wouldn't quit bugging me, and it was all I could do to finish my homework. I've always wondered about that expression. I mean, _what_ was all I could do? But I digress. Hehe, I love that word. And I digress again. Back to the story.

"Okay, how's this?" asked Katara finally, noticing Iroh bemoaning the speed with which his friends were concritting the Sue. "We'll each write down our suggestions, and Iroh will tally them up at the end. But we _won't_ interrupt."

"Am I sensing an ulterior motive here," teased Sokka.

"What are you talking about?" snapped Katara.

"Nothing," her brother answered calmly. "Just that you don't like being interrupted, and you're getting slightly crabby on us. PMS-ing," he whispered to Aang.

"What's _that_ mean?" asked the Avatar obliviously.

"Never mind," Zuko said hastily, not wanting to have to sit through an explanation to the young Air Bender.

Aang shrugged. "Whatever."

Iroh passed out the paper and pencils he had gotten from a plot hole, and Katara began reading again.

"_I have a plan," Belle said._

"_What is it?" Katara said. _

"_I will make Zuko let us go," Belle said. "I will make him fall in love with me," she said._

"**Excuse** me?"

"Zuko, shut up, please."

"_You cannot do that," Katara said. "I will not allow you to endanger yourself," she said._

"_I will not," Belle said, making a promise. "I will be in no danger."_

"_I hope you are right," Katara said. "You are brave and strong, and will be in no danger," she said. "But you are my friend, and I do not want to lose you," she said._

"_You will not lose me," Belle said. "We will see each other again," she said, making a promise._

_A guard came up and took Belle away._

"_Where is the Avatar?" Zuko said._

"_No," Belle said._

"_Where is he?" Zuko said._

"_I will not tell you," Belle said._

"_Why not?" Zuko said._

"_Because the Avatar is my friend," Belle said. "I will not abandon him," she said. He is my friend, and I will never betray him," she said. There is nothing you could do to make me tell you where he is," she said._

_Zuko was staring at her. "You are as strong as you are beautiful," he said. _

The real Zuko was staring at the book, with a very different expression on his face. "Excuse me, please, while I go vomit," he muttered, standing up.

Sokka yanked him back down, feeling a little _too_ happy to get to make the scarred prince sit through this.

"Oh, no, you don't," Katara said. "We _all_ have to listen to the Sue's story, _all_ the way through, Zuko," she said.

Suddenly, Iroh screamed.

"What is it?" Aang asked.

The old Fire Bender pointed a quivering finger at Katara. "Th-the Sue… She's taking over this fanfic!"

Aang jumped up, holding his staff like a sword. "Where is she?" he demanded. "I'll kill her!"

"OOC, OOC," moaned Iroh.

"Wait… We're in a fanfic?" Sokka asked, stopping them in their tracks. Everyone turned to look at Iroh and Katara.

"Are we?" asked Zuko.

Both nodded. Iroh, having opened a plot hole to learn more about this subject, was now an expert on Sue-ness.

"The Sue will spread," Katara whispered. "She will take over this fanfic, then another, then another, until the entire fandom is corrupted by her evil!"

"Not if we get her first," Zuko said determinedly.

"Katara, get back to reading," ordered Aang. "The rest of you, keep concritting!"

"This isn't a game anymore…"

"_Thank you," Belle said. She was modest._

_Zuko was ripped._

"Ripped?"

"I think she means torn…"

"Idiot."

"_I love you," he said, "But I cannot let you go," he said._

"_I understand, because I love you," Belle said. She was sad._

"_Why are you sad?" Zuko said._

"_Because I am ripped," Belle said._

"Torn!"

"Hush, Sokka, let her read."

"_Why are you ripped?" Zuko said._

"Torn!"

"_Because I love you," Belle said. "But I also love Aang," she said. (A/N, Like, you _totally_ didn't see that coming, did you?)_

"_I love you both," she said, "But I am afraid of what this war will do to us," she said._

"_Do not be afraid," Zuko said. "No one will be hurt," he said._

"_I will not be afraid," Belle said, "Because I am brave, but someone will be hurt," she said. "And so, I am afraid," she said._

_Zuko was ripped._

"Okay, by now, I'm not even going to bother."

_He loved Belle, and did not want to hurt her. But he had to find the Avatar to regain his throne._

"_Honor_! It's _honor,_ not _throne_," moaned Zuko.

_Belle read his mind. "I love you, with or without throne," she said._

"_I love you too," he said. _

_Zuko was ripped. But he decided. "I will not try to capture the Avatar any more," he said._

"Oh, _that's_ realistic," muttered Sokka.

"That easy, was it?" asked Zuko.

"_Guys, _don't interrupt," hissed Aang.

"It's okay, Aang," Katara said with a smile. "That's the end."

"_Already_?" demanded Zuko.

"Well, no," she admitted. "That's just as far as the Sue has gotten. Now we must invoke the sacred rite of the review!"

Everyone stared at her.

"We've gotta review her story so that she gets our concrit," explained Katara with a sigh. "Honestly, can't a girl be a _little_ melodramatic once and a while?"


	5. Internet

A/N Look what I found! I had already written a new chapter but the computer crashed before I could update! So I didn't even have to write it. Enjoy!

"Alright," said Iroh. "Done."

Aang sighed with relief, glad that the Sue had finally gotten their concrit. "Well, I'm glad _that's_ over," he commented.

"Not quite," Katara corrected. "We have to stay online to make sure she gets our reviews.

"What'll we do 'till then?" asked Sokka.

"Let's just browse, and stuff," Zuko suggested, painfully OOC.

"What should we search for?" asked Iroh, still at the keyboard of the computer he had pulled out of a plothole.

"Me," offered Zuko, wondering what stories people were writing about him.

_Me_, typed in Iroh.

"No, not…" began Zuko, but it was too late. The search results had appeared.

"Me-Obviously?" asked Aang curiously. "What's that?"

"Someone's username," suggested Katara. "Click on it, Iroh, and see what this is."

With a bit of odd confusions as to how to use the mouse, Iroh finally got the link clicked on. After a bit of description about a random person, they reached the quotes.

"Hey, look, that's Bumi!" exclaimed Aang. They read the quote with their friend's name in it.

'_Guard_: "My liege, do you mean the good chamber or the bad chamber?"

_King Bumi_: "The newly refurbished chamber."

_Guard_: "Wait, which chamber are we talking about?"

_King Bumi_: "The newly refurbished chamber that used to be the bad chamber, until the recent refurbishing that is. We've been calling it the new chamber but we really should number them. Uh... TAKE THEM TO THE REFURBISHED CHAMBER THAT WAS ONCE BAD!"

Later...

_Katara_: "This is a prison cell? But it's so nice."

_Aang_: "He did say it was newly refurbished."

_Sokka_: "Nice or not, we're _prisoners_."

_-Avatar: The Last Airbender, Book 1: Water, Chapter 5: The King of Omashu'_

"I always knew I sounded like the smart one," Sokka said proudly.

"Yeah, _sounded _like it," giggled Katara. Her brother glared at her, but Zuko interrupted

before they could get into a full-fledged argument.

"What's _that_ say?" he asked, pointing at a headline above a paragraph that they couldn't yet read.

"My Rant on Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus in the Avatar Fandom," read Aang. "What's a Gary-Stu, please?"

"A male Mary-Sue," Katara told him. "Scroll down, Iroh," she added, "This might be helpful."

Iroh scrolled down and began to read aloud.

_I've officially snapped. "Why?" the ever curious populace wonders. And I shall tell you why, oh yes, I shall._

"Good," commented Zuko. The ever curious populace isn't the only one who's wondering, I am too!"

"That sounds really lame," Sokka muttered.

"Don't be a flamer," Zuko told him primly.

_I was wondering aimlessly through the Avatar-verse, as all of us fanfictioners do, looking for a nice well written fic to read. _

"Fic would be a fanfiction story," Katara clarified.

_But I was finding it rather difficult due to the plague that has struck our young fandom. A surplus of the dreaded MarySues. Like a dark shadow they send the wonderful and addicting thing that is fanfiction into the fan's equivalent of a nuclear winter. Poignant and oftentimes fatal they infect all fandoms. With them comes their sister in arms, the equally dreaded (by the good writers and all readers with sense) cliche. _

_Face it, they're there. It's like the boogeyman crawling out from under your bed or out of your closet and sitting at your dinner table, touching all your food with his boogery hands. It's icky and no one wants him there. Call in exterminator, I say. Get rid of the roach-like Sues! Let's go on strike. Let's say: "Fanfiction, you've banned songfics and the alleged script format._

"Songfics? Script format?"

"Sonfics are stories written to a song. Script format is written as a script," Katara explained.

"And a script would be…?"

"Hard to explain," said Katara, who didn't really know at all.

_So do us a true favor, BAN THE SUES!" I'm tired of them and there are many others who stand with me on this issue. _

_In the Avatar-verse they're the Airbenders that survived despite the fact that the show title (the American one) says that Aang is the last. _

"The show title being 'Avatar: The Last Airbender," Katara told them.

"If we want your clarification, we'll ask for it," growled Zuko.

"Why Aang?" wondered Sokka. "Why's the show named after him?"

"'Cause he's the main character," explained Katara. "Hey, he asked," she added defensively as Zuko glared at her.

_They're the Second Avatars; which is impossible because the Avatar is one person, one spirit that is reincarnated over and over._

"How does _she _know?" wondered Aang. Nobody answered him.

_They're the New Benders: look I bend weird things or two elements, but not four cause that would make me a Second Avatar. And my theory on why there are only four elements is this: Elements Elemental Forms, otherwise known as EARTH-SOLID, WATER-LIQUID, AIR-GAS, FIRE-PLASMA. The only forms all atomic materials can take; four, just four. That's my explanation on why Iroh could bend Lightning in "The Storm,"' cause both Lightning and Fire are plasmas. _

"Very wise, young one, very wise," Iroh told the computer. It didn't answer, so he kept reading.

_And if that doesn't work for you, the creators themselves said that each element mirrors one of the four seasons (no, not the hotel): WATER-WINTER, EARTH-SPRING, FIRE-SUMMER, AIR-AUTUMN. Once more only four and that will never change. You'll never hear, "Well, the climatologists released a report today saying that the year is actually composed of five seasons."_

Zuko forced himself not to smile at that, as Aang asked loudly and curiously what a climatologist was.

"Fine," he muttered when Katara couldn't answer. "So what's a hotel, and what's that gotta do with four seasons?"

Since nobody could answer _that_, either, he just sat there, slightly grumpy, and very OOC.

"What's that?" asked Sokka, pointing at a link as Iroh attempted another search.

"I guess that must be just another user," Katara told him tiredly.

Sokka and Iroh happily clicked on the link and read through the profile, until they got to the stories.

"Hey, look, there are stories about us!" exclaimed Iroh. The others gathered around as he read one of the two Avatar fics' summaries aloud.

"Mary-Sues of All Kinds. By Random Stuff About Stuff.

When Aang finds a mysterious book in a hat, he had no idea that it contains a Mary Sue... Well, maybe he does. Sokka is a concritter, Zuko is a flamer, Katara is a SueKiller, and Iroh is a PlotHole TeaDrinker. Ahh, the chaos…"

"PlotHole TeaDrinker?" wondered Iroh.

"This 'Random Stuff About Stuff' seems to be very… odd," mused Aang.

"Very odd indeed," agreed Sokka. He clicked on the link to the story and began reading.

It did not take long for the story to start sounding very familiar.

"That's _us_!" exclaimed Zuko angrily. He obviously didn't have a very good grip on his temper…

"_That's _us_!" exclaimed Zuko angrily. He obviously didn't have a very good grip on his temper…_

"I do too!"

"Of course you do, Zuko," Iroh said soothingly. He was obviously the good one in the family.

"_I do too!"_

"_Of course you do, Zuko," Iroh said soothingly. He was obviously the good one in the family._

Iroh looked mildly proud of himself, while Katara pondered this conundrum.

_Iroh looked mildly proud of himself, while Katara pondered this conundrum._

Sokka pointed his spear at the computer, a gesture he was very fond of. "What manner of foul being are you?" he asked.

_Hey! Who're you calling a foul being?_

"It speaks!" he cried overdramatically, and then read the computer's record of that. "Hey!" he exclaimed. "I am _not_ overdramatic.

The computer recorded that, and added, _yes you are, and you smell like a bison._

"I _live_ on a bison!" Sokka retorted, as the computer recorded his words, "Do you expect me to smell like a rose?"

_Well, no. Actually, I'd prefer lavender, roses smell weird._

"Hey, it's not like I exactly get a chance to bathe everyday, Mr. Smarty Pants," Sokka snapped maturely.

_Well, we all wish for a change in your circumstances, _the computer retorted. _Because you're an idiot. And it's _Ms._ Smarty Pants, I'm a girl._

"I wouldn't've noticed," muttered Zuko.

_Hey! What's that supposed to mean? Are girls supposed to act _differently_ than boys? Huh? Huh?_

"Hey, I just…"

_Oh, _now_ you wanna talk, huh? Sure you're not too good to talk to a mere girl?_

"I was only…"

_Hahahahahaahaha, _the computer said. _The look on your face!_

"Not that this isn't interesting and all," Iroh put in, "But the Sue has read our reviews. She's coming."

"Excuse me," Katara told the computer, feeling very silly. "But we have to go…"

_Not a problem. You beat those Sues! I'll make sure to write you a happy ending._

"Thank you," Aang said graciously. The computer bleeped in response, and the Sue appeared.

Ohh, I love these cliffies. Even if this one is sort of… in a comedy story. Anyway, special thanks to 'me-obviously' for this chapter, she really does have everything I put there on her homepage, and she really does exist. And, in case you didn't realize, the part where they're talking to the computer is really just the story being written, and the sarcastic comments are me. So, anyway, hope you liked this one. I'm so far planning on another chapter, then an epilogue.


	6. The MarySue

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender, it belongs to Nick. I do not own the line 'certainly, definitely absolutely', it belongs to T.A. Barron. I do not own the line 'I'm melting', it belongs to whoever wrote the Wizard of Oz. Can't quite remember… I also do not own any of the leading experts except for SueBasher2000 and Random Stuff About Stuff. I own Random because she is me, and I own SueBasher2000 because I invented her. The others are my kind reviewers, and I do not own them, as they own themselves. I do, however, own the pink glasses that I wear. Unless they're my mom's, and the _purple_ ones are mine…. Oh, well. I doubt my own mother is going to sue me about eyeglasses.

A/N Last chappie before the epilogue. Sorry if it's a little overdramatic in the end, I couldn't help it. Anyway, at nine pages long, this is the longest chapter I've ever written. I think. Oneshots don't count. Also, as to your votes about who should win, the winner will be mentioned in the epilogue, but there won't be anything else. I've sort of got a plan about this that wouldn't work if I did that. Sorry. Well, hope you like this!

"I don't get it!" whined the Sue. "It was a _good_ story. It _wasn't_ a cliché."

"It's a plot that's been being written since the beginning of time!" scolded Katara. "And everyone was OOC."

They had been having this conversation for about twenty minutes now, and the Sue still didn't seem to get the fact that they didn't like her story.

Now the Sue spotted what she thought was a sympathetic face. "Momo!" she cried. "Tell them my story isn't a Mary-Sue."

The lemur gave her a look, and opened a plot hole. "Sorry, beutyinthemoonlight19," he told her with the voice he had gotten from the plot hole. "But it sort of was."

"No it wasn't!" cried the Sue. "Sues are self-inserts, and she wasn't like me at all!"

"Well, let's explore this theory," suggested Momo. He opened another plot hole, and pulled out Belle.

"Zuko!" screamed Belle in a fangirl voice. "Hi!" She threw her arms around him, oblivious to the disgusted expression on his face.

Looking at her, Aang realized that Belle looked exactly like beutyinthemoonlight19, except her hair was blonde, while the writer's was red.

"Someone… get… her off me!" groaned Zuko. Aang tugged at the fangirl, and she turned around. Unfortunately, she spotted him.

"Aang!" she cried. "It's great to see you!"

Now it was the _Avatar_ getting hugged. All he could say to that was 'erp'.

"I _so_ think you're _totally_ cool!" she gushed. "You're like, supposed to save the world, but you, like, don't wanna be the Avatar, but you, like, do anyway, and you, like, are the coolest person ever, except for the other guys on this show, and you, like, are gonna _totally_ save the world, and you, like, are _totally_ cool, but you, like, are just twelve and stuff, but I think you're, like, gonna grow up to be hot, and you, like, are_ so_ cute!"

"Zuko," squeaked Aang. "I got her off you. Please return the favor."

The Fire Bender did, only to be caught in a hug by Belle once more.

"_Zuko_," she crowed. "I think you're totally, like, hot! And you're a Fire Bender, so that's a pun! And, like, you got burned and stuff and you're really cool! I think you're scar makes you look hot and stuff, which is _still_ a pun, 'cause you're, like, the best Fire Bender _ever_! But you've got, like, a past that's, like, more tragic than _mine_! It's _so_ sad! And you're trying to hunt down the Avatar, and my sister says you're supposed to be the bad guy, but you're _really_ hot, and hot people can't be the bad guy. And anyway, you're cool, and cool people can't be the bad guy, either. And you, like, have a scar, and it's all, like hot, which is a pun, but I didn't _mean_ to do a pun, 'cause you're, like, the coolest Fire Bender _ever_! Ohmygod!"

"Help," screeched Zuko angrily. "This girl is _insane_!"

Perhaps Belle actually knew when she wasn't wanted, or perhaps she had just run out of things to say to Zuko, because then she threw herself on Sokka.

"Sokka!" she squeaked. "It's good to see you! You're so cool!" Sokka wasn't sure whether to be relieved or insulted as she hopped away quickly and put a comradely arm around his sister.

"Katara," she said cheerfully. "I'm glad to see you again."

"But I've never met you," pointed out the aforementioned Water Bender.

Belle ignored this, responding instead in a stage whisper. "You know, Katara, I won't be around forever."

"Thank goodness."

"So, as much as I love Zuko, we can never be together."

"Lucky Zuko."

"I know. It's tragic!"

"That's _not_ what I said…"

"But I believe that he _should_ have some love in his life."

"_I_ don't," snapped Zuko.

"And, I've seen the way you look at him."

"What way?" asked Sokka suspiciously.

"So, don't worry about hurting my feelings, Katara," Belle continued obliviously. "I know you love him, and I approve."

There was a short pause in response to this, followed by an outburst of noise.

"Hahahaha… you're not joking, are you?" asked Iroh with a sudden sense of enlightenment.

"Katara!" cried Aang. "How could you?"

"I absolutely _forbid_ you to have _anything_ to do with him!" announced Sokka. "He is a Fire Bender, Katara, get that through your head!"

"I _know_ that, Sokka, and I am _not_ in love with Zuko," Katara shouted.

Meanwhile, Zuko had shoved himself into a corner and was whimpering quietly.

"Oh, stow it," Katara ordered irritably. "I don't like you; Belle's an idiot, okay? We know that!"

"It's the power of the Sue," Iroh told them. "She's tearing us apart with her lies."

The younger four quieted down, and looked at each other, feeling slightly ashamed of themselves for falling for the Sue's power.

"So, you're _not_ in love with the Fire Bender?" Sokka asked Katara suspiciously.

"No!"

He seemed satisfied by this, and turned to Zuko. "And you're _not_ in love with my sister?" he asked him.

"_NO!"_

"Good," he said to both of them.

"You see?" asked Momo, who had been watching the antics of the humans with vague amusement. "She _is_ a Sue."

"_No, she's not_!" cried beutyinthemoonlight19 angrily.

Momo returned Belle to the pot hole, and smiled at the Sue.

"Alright, will _this_ convince you? I'll bring in some of the leading experts on Mary-Sues in fanfiction to make the decision as to whether or not you've written a Sue. Will you believe _them_?"

beutyinthemoonlight19 frowned for a moment, and then nodded. "Alright, I'll believe the leading experts. But it _has_ to be a con… con... they all have to say it, okay? If even _one_ says that I _didn't_ write a Sue, I won't believe you."

"Fair enough," agreed Momo. He had complete faith in these 'leading experts' people.

"And the first of our leading experts is…. the writer of this very story, Random Stuff About Stuff!"

A face appeared on the computer. A face wearing pink glasses. Random quickly removed them.

"What?" she asked. "That's what happens when you let your mom do your shopping for you!"

"Random Stuff About Stuff, you are the writer of this story?" asked Momo.

"No, I'm an identity thief," Random said sarcastically.

"What?" asked Zuko, looking confused.

"Never mind. Yes, I am."

"I assume that you've already read this story, written by beutyinthemoonlight19?" said Momo.

"Yes, I have," Random confirmed, visibly restraining sarcasm.

"Well?"

"Well, what? Well, how many bananas do I have? Well, well, well? Timmy fell _into_ the well? Well, what are you going to say next? What, exactly, do you _mean_ by 'well'?" demanded Random.

"Well, is it a Mary-Sue?" asked Momo.

"Yes, duh, obviously, no doubt about it, definitely a Sue. One of the Sueiest Sues I've ever read. Such a Sue, it's painful. Sue. Certainly, definitely, absolutely!"

"Right…." muttered Sokka.

"Well, there's _one_ confirmation for you!" Momo said. "Thank you, Random."

"Not a problem," she answered, and disappeared.

"Alrighty, then, our next reviewer is as such… me-obviously, the writer of one of the most critically acclaimed texts about Mary-Sues!"

A second face appeared on the screen. "Hey," it said.

"You are me-obviously?" asked Momo.

"Obviously," me-obviously said. "If you already knew, why'd you have to ask?"

"Formalities," the lemur said. "So, have you read the story written by beutyinthemoonlight19?" he asked.

"Yup, and it's a Mary-Sue," she confirmed. "I have never seen such an obvious Mary-Sue. It's disgusting."

"Thank you, me-obviously," Momo told her.

"You're welcome," she answered, and her face vanished from the screen.

"Another confirmation that you're story is a Sue," Momo announced.

beutyinthemoonlight19 winced. "That means nothing," she informed him. "I'll need more than just those two to prove that I wrote a Sue."

Momo nodded sagely, and turned back to the computer. "Element Girls," he said. This time, there were two faces on the screen.

"Are you the aforementioned Element Girls?" he asked.

"I dunno, are we?" retorted one sarcastically. Momo coughed.

"Formalities," he told them.

"Yes, we are," the second said.

"And you have read the story written by beutyinthemoonlight19?" he asked.

"More formalities?"

"Yes, we have."

One of them giggled quietly. "It was _pretty_ funny," she said.

"Thank you," the Sue answered, smiling.

"It was such a Mary-Sue," the Element Girl continued, ignoring her. "It was hilarious! The writer didn't even seem to notice how _stupid_ it was, right?"

The last comment was addressed to her friend, who nodded.

"It was _insane_! Absolutely stupid. Can't believe anyone would write that stuff."

"So, you agree that it was a Mary-Sue?" asked Momo.

"Definitely," chorused the girls.

"Thank you."

"Any time." The two faces disappeared from the screen.

beutyinthemoonlight19 was squirming slightly, but didn't seem about to relent. "There's more," Momo told her.

"And _here's_ one of them, in the form of bAnDgEeK75!"

Another face was on the screen in a blink of an eye.

"You are bAnDgEeK75?" asked Momo.

The fanfictioner nodded, grinning. "Is it _that_ un-obvious?" she asked.

"For the last time, it's just formalities!" snapped Momo.

"Okay, okay, chill. What do you need?" she asked.

The lemur regained control over his temper. "Have you read the story by beutyinthemoonlight19?

"Yeah…"

"Is it, or is it not, a Mary-Sue?"

"Well, let's ask our judges," she responded. "Simon says… 'Well, that was amazing'."

The Sue was positively glowing.

"Amazing-ly Sueish!" continued bAnDgEeK75. "Paula says… 'I'm sure you can't help being a Sue-Writer. And Randy says… 'Sue.' Hmm, don't think he wants to comment any further. Congratulations, beutyinthemoonlight19, you are the Mary-Sue Idol!"

"Alright, thank you, bAnDgEeK75," Momo said.

"No problemo," she answered, and flickered off-screen.

Before the Sue could comment on that, the lemur announced another 'leading expert'.

"Khazia," he announced. Another face appeared.

"Yeah?"

"Are you Khazia, just for formalities," Momo asked.

"Yes, I am," she comfirmed.

"_Thank _you," Momo exclaimed, glad that _someone_ finally was not being sarcastic. "So, more formalities. Did you read the story by beutyinthemoonlight19?"

Khazia nodded. "Yes, and before you ask, it was _definitely_ a Mary-Sue."

"Thank you, Khazia. And thank you for not being rude."

"No problem," she responded, and blinked out.

"There's one more," Momo told them. "SueBasher2000."

This time, it wasn't a face on the screen, but a girl who materialized just as the Sue had. In face, she seemed to have a lot in common with the Sue…

"You two look a lot alike, you know…" Zuko began, but didn't get any farther, because SueBasher2000 punched him in the face.

"We're _sisters_ okay, get over it," she snapped.

beutyinthemoonlight19 smiled. "My sister is a little sensitive about being related to me," she explained. "But I know that she'll put family loyalty above everything else, and tell me that I didn't write a Sue. Choosing my own sister as one of your 'leading experts', so to say, was your undoing! You can't comprehend the true meaning of family!"

Aang, Katara, Sokka, Zuko, and even Iroh looked slightly worried about that, but Momo seemed calm. Quickly, it was proved why.

"What, you want me to say that you didn't write a Sue?" SueBasher2000 asked. "No way am I saying _that_! Belle is a Mary-Sue, and I hate her. As I said before, _tu est un tete de merde et je ne peut pas faire quelque chose por ton ecriture."_

Momo turned to the Sue. "And _now_ will you believe us? You wrote a Sue, face it."

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" she screamed. "I'm meeeeltiiiiiiiiing!"

And she did just that. Melted, that is.

"Well…" commented Sokka finally. "That was… odd…"

"_Odd_?" demanded Zuko. "_ODD? _That was one of the strangest things I've ever seen, and you say it's _odd_?"

"Don't worry, Zuko," Aang reassured him. "Sokka's the master of understatement."

The Fire Nation Prince visibly calmed down. "Thank you, Aang," he said, before he remembered that he was supposed to dislike the Avatar. Frowning slightly at that, he allowed Momo to continue with his conversation with SueBasher2000.

"So, what did that thing you said mean?" he asked.

"Oh, basically I was comparing her head to, erm… dung, and telling her that her writing style was beyond saving. I did beta for her, though."

"Beta means…."

"I proofread her story."

"Maybe you can do _more_ than that," suggested Katara. Everyone looked at her. "Well, the story was sort of left unfinished," she explained. "So, why doesn't SueBasher2000 finish it for her sister?"

"No way am I writing that _Sue_," SueBasher2000 sneered.

"No!" exclaimed Katara, aghast at the misinterpretation. "Write it, and make it an anti-Sue, or just _not_ a Sue."

"Hmm… Alright, I'll do it!"

"Thank you!" Katara cried. "The few brave warriors who stand up and write against the Mary-Sues may one day be the only chance we have of survival… One day, the forces of Sue and the forces of Good Writing will face off in a final battle. And we can only hope that the Sues will be conquered as is their rightful lot in life."

Aang was smiling slightly as SueBasher2000 disappeared.

"What?" asked Sokka, noticing the expression on his face.

"Nothing. It's just… a flamer, a Suekiller, a concritter, a reviewer and a PlotHoler managed to actually band together and defeat a Mary-Sue. I really never would have thought we could do it, but we did."

"Mary-Sues bring out the worst in some people, and the best in others, like all dangers do," Katara told him. "But there are silver linings to every cloud. And maybe our story will inspire others to fight the Sues as we did."

"To the last breath," vowed Zuko.

"Until the end," agreed Sokka.

And they knew that, no matter where this war took them, the bond they had forged in fighting this greater evil would last. Any time that a Mary-Sue appeared, the five of them would be there to fight it.


	7. A New Story

A/N And so it ends. With drama, with humor, without Mary-Sues. Anyway, the beginning is the story, revised by SueBasher2000. This is the last chapter of _her_ story, but quite a bit was actually skipped. Just use your imaginations to fill in the blanks. Anyway, I've gotten a few requests for a sequel. What do you think? It wouldn't be written immediately. First, I want to write a sequel to my other Avatar fic, Sing Along. But I'd do it eventually. What do you all think? Hope you like this chapter. Say happy birthday to my dad!

- Random

_Chapter 10: Hard to Say Goodbye From a Bison's Back_

"_You realize," Zuko said, "That just because I helped you defeat Belle's spell, doesn't mean I've changed my mind about this war?"_

"_Yeah, well, we wouldn't want you on our side anyway," Sokka retorted, slightly miffed by the Prince's haughty tone._

"_We understand," Aang clarified. "We're glad you helped us, though."_

_Sokka and Katara both nodded. The young Water Bender glanced around the island they were stranded on, a frown furrowing her brow._

"_Zuko," Katara asked. "How are you going to get off this island without your ship?"_

_The Fire Bender shrugged. "I'll think of something," he told her._

_Now Sokka, too, was catching on to the idea. "We'll give you a ride to your ship if you give us a three-day head start."_

_Zuko glared at him. "One day."_

"_Two," Aang offered._

"_One and a half."_

"_Fine," Katara agreed before the boys could get too caught up in haggling._

_All of them climbed onto Appa, and with a cheerful 'yip-yip' from Aang, they were off._

"_You'll have to make sure that the Fire Benders don't fry us, though," Katara pointed out as they flew._

"_How am I going to do that?" snapped Zuko._

"_Maybe if we hang you over the edge, they'll see you. And if they don't, well, no real loss," Sokka suggested._

_Zuko glared at him as Katara and Aang giggled quietly. After a moment, though, the boy relaxed and allowed himself to crack a smile._

_He had changed, Aang reflected, in the fight to defeat Belle. They all had, really, but Zuko especially. He had no idea how long it would last, but for now, he was glad to see his… friend having a good time, for once in his life._

"_Or, maybe, we can hang _you_ over the side, and hope that my crew doesn't realize that you're not me," Zuko teased. Sokka laughed._

"_Yeah, or we could _not_."_

"_Or, we could."_

_By now, everyone was laughing too hard to continue the mock argument. _

"_Seriously, though," Zuko commented when they had calmed down. "I really doubt that my crew's going to actually _try_ to capture you if I'm not breathing down their necks."_

"_Which probably isn't increasing your popularity any," Aang pointed out from the front._

"_Probably not," admitted Zuko. "Oh, here we are," he added as the bison flew over a Fire Nation ship._

_True to the young Fire Bender's prediction, nobody fired on them, even when they landed on the deck. Although, by then, the crew probably had noticed Zuko and decided not to kill their leader._

"_Thank you," Zuko said graciously, sliding down. To his surprise, the other three followed him._

_Aang smiled in response to Zuko's questioning look. "It's hard to say goodbye from a bison's back," he explained. _

"_Good luck," Katara told him._

"_With capturing you?" teased her friend._

"_Well, with everything else."_

_Sokka smiled and clasped Zuko on the shoulder. "It's been nice to know you, Zuko," he said. _

"_Hey, like it or not, you're still gonna know me after this," retorted the prince._

"_True… But I doubt it'll be nice anymore."_

_Now it was Aang's turn. Forcing himself to smile, he hugged his former enemy sadly. "Goodbye," he said quietly. "I'll miss you."_

_Zuko put his arm around the Avatar's shoulder in a brotherly manner. "We'll see each other again," he promised. "That's a given. And maybe one day, we'll see each other again _without_ trying to kill each other. _That's_ a promise."_

"Aww, how sweet!" Katara exclaimed. "Zuko, I didn't know you had it in you!"

"Shut up," he snapped, glaring at her, but he seemed slightly _less_ angry than before. Even if he wouldn't admit it, Zuko thought the story was sweet, too.

"What, didn't you like it?" teased Aang.

"Well, it was definitely better than the Mary-Sue!"

Smiling at the young people's good-natured chatter, Iroh still found himself forced to interrupt.

"You all seem to have forgotten one thing," he pointed out. Everyone looked at him. "The winner of our little competition!"

The foursome exchanged amused looks, realizing that they had forgotten all about it.

"Well?" asked Sokka. "Who is it?"

Iroh hesitated. "Well, _technically, _Zuko won…"

"_Yes_! In your face, Sokka!"

"…But I was thinking, since it was him who really saved us, Momo should get the actual prize. What do you think?"

Katara and Aang nodded in perfect synchronism, which might have accounted for Sokka's frightened look as he consented. They all looked at Zuko.

"Yeah, sure, why not," he said finally. "The little lemur earned it."

Momo bowed proudly as Iroh handed him a few berries as a prize.

Everyone cheered.

"So," commented Aang when they had finished, "I guess that we _did_ end up with a happy ending, after all."

"Well, not _technically_," Zuko pointed out. "I still have to try to capture you."

"Two day head start," Katara said.

"One."

"One and a half," suggested Sokka.

"Done."

Laughing at their parody of the story, Aang asked if Zuko really planned on giving them a head start at all.

Zuko shrugged. "Well, they way _I_ see it," he commented, "This whole thing is trying to get my honor back, right?"

"Right…" Aang agreed, slightly unsure as to what the young Fire Bender meant.

"So, if I get my honor back by cheating, that sort of defeats the purpose!"

They all laughed, and Zuko and Iroh turned to leave.

"Oh, and by the way," the older man added as they left. He turned around and tossed them a whistle. It looked almost exactly like Aang's bison whistle, but it was shaped like a miniature flame.

"Use this if you ever find a Mary-Sue again," Iroh explained. "I got it out of a plot hole, and it'll contact us in an emergency."

"Thanks," Katara told him. Sokka passed them the whistle Aang had handed to him, shaped like an arrow.

"And if _you_ ever find a Mary-Sue," the Avatar said, "Call us, and we'll help you."

_Strange_, Momo reflected, watching the friends go their separate ways, _the only thing that could have brought them, a Fire Bender, a banished prince, a Water Bender, her brother, and the Avatar together, was a Mary-Sue._


End file.
